Did I really know my MOM?
She was no one. But when she died the whole world came to
say good-bye. Many faces were completely unknown. But they were deeply touched
by our loss. We in our grief could not get to know these unknown mourners.
Everyone was there for her, but I was there for myself. I
lost my ground that day. The ground that I stood firmly on. I lost my sky. The
sky of my aspirations. I lost my heart. That resided in her.
Yes, she was no one for the world. A simple woman who lived
her life on her terms. Who will know her? But that day, I came to know the
world actually knows her. The world created by her. I always thought, as a son,
I knew her the best. But that day I wondered, did I really know her?
Who were all these unknown people? Why did they cry for her?
What did she mean to them? I wanted to know all this. We decided to hold a
prayer day for her. I invited all of them to pay her a tribute.
It was a memorable day. They all came. I pleaded them to
share her stories. She had always loved stories. Why not remember her through
her own stories, which I was unaware of.
Everyone looked at one another. Who will start? An old lady
at the center stood up. She must be in eighties. Walking with a stick she came
to the front and kissed Mom’s photo.
“I love her. I adore her. I am eighty four, but this is the
first year that I actually love myself. Because of her. I met her six months
back in the park, the day after my eighty fourth birthday. She was surrounded
by many. She looked up to me with a warm smile.
She held my hand and took me aside.
“Hey, where is your smile hidden?” she asked. I did not
expect that question.
She said, “All these years that we live by and all the
enriching experiences make smile sweeter and sweeter with the age. You look quite
old to me. Where did you loose your smile?”
Tears rolled down my cheek. In so many years, she was the
only person I met, who was concerned about my smile. “My children took it away.
It was my birthday yesterday and everyone was just busy that no one wished me.”
“Ohh, what a silly old girl you are,” she said. “You are so
big now and you still need others to make you happy. You should go out, eat a
lovely pastry, and celebrate with yourself.”
“Alone?” I asked.
“Why not? She exclaimed. “Haven’t you lived long enough for others?
Whatever years are remaining, live for yourself. Think about yourself. Make
yourself smile.”
That day I met myself. She made me love myself. All these
years I had divided my love, my time, and my life amongst my family and had
forgotten about myself. Last 6 months I have lived the best moments of my life.
Thank you and I love you.”
A big smile dawned upon my face with the blurry eyes. And I
am sure everyone had the same smile. Just as she finished, an old man guess in
his seventies stood up to share.
“I was her best boyfriend, she used to say so..” We all giggled
at the thought. “No.. no, don’t laugh. It’s true. We know each other from our
teenage. I was a flirty young teen then. And I flirted with almost every girl
in the neighborhood. She was the beauty queen of our area. So how could I leave
her? She gave most witty responses. But as a good girl she always kept the
distance.
As years passed, responsibilities replaced flirting. All the
bright charm was taken away by the dull drab adulthood. Tried it on my wife but
she never found any fun in it.
We met again after 40 years. My son shifted here, so did I.
As I came for a walk, there she was bright and glowing in the morning sun. How
could I stop myself and I broke into our favorite song, ‘Ude jab jab zulfe
teri..’ The smile on her face was so lovely and assuring. She made my
flirtiness alive once again. Flirting is good for heart especially at my age.
Every beautiful woman coming in the park knows me. And I feel so happy about
living, about myself once again. Here’s to my charming fairy.” He placed a rose
near Mom’s photo. “Gods in heaven.. you can have a chance to charm her till I
come.”
Wow! I do admit she was beautiful for any man to fall for
her.
“If you are her best boyfriend, I am her best friend.”
A young girl in teens stood up. “I know you must be thinking
I am a kid to be her friend. But she is the one who made me understand what
friendship is by becoming a loving friend. She gave me the chance to talk, talk
about everything. And I could talk to her about everything. You know why?
Because she never judged me. I met her on a bus journey to college. In no time
we started chatting with each other. She was so interesting. Never boasted
about her good old days as most grannies. She was so accepting.
We got so friendly that I started visiting the park where
she met her friends. We spoke on various topics from friendship to politics to
nature to boyfriends and even gay relationship. She was curious but never judgmental.
She said she could never talk on these subjects with anyone else. Her friends
would ridicule her and her kids would feel embarrassed. We met one evening
every week in the café outside the park. I wish every woman is as open minded
as her. I wish I become such a woman myself. Thank you my friend.” She gave Mom
a flying kiss.
The evening was filled with stories of amazing happy
relationships that my Mom had with people of different ages and cultures and
languages. No barriers. There was just pure love. Wish mom were alive while I
heard the stories. I would have hugged her a thousand times. She touched so
many lives and made a beautiful difference in their lives. I always thought she
must be going to park for spending some time, gossiping and chatting with old
aunties.
I guess I never knew my Mom.
